Vice and Virtue: Leo

Virtue: I know what you may be thinking… Today I NEEDED a Rambler article diving into the intricacies of the “Chicken Stars” movie and how it’s actually really good. Well, you’re in luck because I really liked this movie. First and foremost, if you haven’t heard of Leo, your grass is probably a little greener. For those who don’t spend their life on their phones, “Chicken Stars” has joined the ranks of the niche brainrot memes, as seen below:

Beyond the surface-level disaster of the “Chicken Star” memes, the movie Leo was actually a memorable watch. The movie is about fifth graders and all their gosh-darn life problems. Ranging from helicopter parents to talking too damn much to masking emotional insecurity with bullying tactics, this movie actually handles the complexities of childhood, and arguably life, beautifully. The hero and protagonist of this movie, of course, is a talking lizard performed by (you guessed it) Adam Sandler! Watching this movie was the first time you’ll ever catch me saying I liked an Adam Sandler performance, and that it… actually fit here. The lizard takes the role of the class pet that has a midlife crisis and wants to find its purpose. The substitute teacher wants to do things the “good old-fashioned way” and tells the class they need to bring Leo the lizard home every weekend. This is how Leo ends up talking to the students and helping solve all their problems, eventually bringing the whole class together. This movie perfectly captures the color, innocence, and overall nostalgia of elementary school, which felt like a trip down memory lane. This movie was great despite the trash that surrounds it!

Vice: Leo is a beyond-subpar movie. Big boy Sandler is an excellent voice actor, yes, but that couldn’t save the film from the abomination that is “cHicKEn StARs.” I HATE “Chicken Stars.” This movie haunts my nightmares. Within the first few minutes of the movie, it is voice crack after voice crack. I can’t stand it. The musical numbers in Leo are the WORST part, because I don’t want to hear their obnoxious, screechy voices. I hate Summer's song specifically because she blabs on and on about wanting to talk less, while she yaps the whole way through it. Nut Allergy Boy has got to be the lamest kid I’ve ever heard of. He has a drone wipe his bum for him. Like, bro, keep that private, please. God forbid he ever achieves his ridiculous dream of trying kung pao chicken of all things. Let’s also not glaze over when Adam Sandler drops the line “sIX Or sEVen bEers.” Watching this movie made me feel like I was going insane. The movie was doomed to fail ever since Chicken Stars Boy spoke with his crackly, prepubescent record scratch of a voice. DO NOT watch this movie.