The Incident (Vol 1)

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                                              BLUE LEVEL AUTHORIZATION ONLY                                             -TRANSCRIPT-

Part One of My Plan

[File has been edited by an unknown source. Edits cannot be reversed.]

[Click]

Officer [Redacted]: What did you see?

Witness: Nothing, Officer.

Officer: You were there when it happened. There’s no way you could have seen nothing.

Witness: I saw nothing, sir.

Officer: Another witness reported that you influenced the situation. That you had a knife. What do you say to that?

Witness: I did not have a knife.

Officer: Lying is pointless.

Witness: I am not lying.

Officer: We’ll see about that. Bring in the lie detector!

Witness: [Possibly a stifled laugh.] You have a lie detector?

Officer: Hook her up. Is she secure? Yes? Good. I am now going to ask you those questions again. Let’s see how well your story holds.

Witness: Go on, then.

Officer: Nervous, are you?

Witness: No.

Lie Detector Operator (LDO): True.

Officer: [Pause.] Interesting. Now. [Shuffles papers.] What did you see?

Witness: Nothing. Sir.

LDO: True.

Officer: Are you sure that reading is correct? There’s no way—

LDO: It is correct. Sir.

Officer: Right. [Deep breath.] Moving on. Did you or did you not have a knife during the time of the incident?

Witness: I did not.

LDO: True.

Officer: How is this possible? We have multiple witness accounts of both you being there and you having a knife, but this, this machine [points at the lie detector] says that those multiple accounts are false!

LDO: Sir, it would be advisable to calm down. You are making the witness’s heart rate rise, possibly due to amusement, which can lower the accuracy of the machine.

Officer: Yeah, right. Sorry. [Deep breath.] This just makes no sense.

Witness: [Indistinguishable.] 

Officer: What did you say?

Witness: The world isn’t built to make sense. Humans just want it to.

LDO: True.

Officer: That reading wasn’t necessary.

LDO: That wasn’t a reading.

Officer: [Pauses. Clears throat.] Did you have anything to do with the incident?

Witness: Yes.

LDO: True.

Officer: I…I don’t understand. I’m not trained to solve mysteries. I’m trained to gather information I can give to others so they can solve the mystery.

LDO: Maybe you need to hand over the case.

Officer: I know who you mean…and as much as I hate to say it, I know you’re right. [Officer leaves the room. A few moments of silence.]

LDO: [Sighs.] His interpretation of my statement was…inaccurate.[A pause.]

LDO: Hold still.

Witness: What are you doing?

LDO: I am undoing your bonds, miss.

Witness: I don’t understand.

LDO: Comprehension is not needed.

[The LDO returns to their position by the lie detector.]

[Agent [Redacted] enters the room.]

Agent: I hear we’ve got a mystery going on in here.

LDO: That would be correct.

Agent: Must be a whopper of a mystery if Officer [Redacted] swallowed their pride long enough to send me. [Chuckles.] Now, would you be so kind as to give me a rundown?

LDO: We have multiple witness reports indicating that this witness was seen with a knife in their possession at the site and time of the incident.

Agent: Mm-hmm.

LDO: During the process of interrogation, however, we have gotten repeated answers that they did not see anything and did not, in fact, have a knife.

Agent: And all this was verified through the lie detector.

LDO: Affirmative.

Agent: I see…I see. This is a whopper of a mystery.

LDO: Do you need me for any further questioning?

Agent: No, I believe not. Thank you.

[The LDO packs up and leaves.]

Agent: I must first say thank you.

Witness: Thank you?

Agent: Yes. It’s not often I’m called for a real mystery that’s not just something the police can’t get their minds around.

Witness: I… see.

Agent: Now, to get down to business. Where were you at the time of the incident?

Witness: Thomson’s Park.

Agent: That’s the site of the incident, is it not?

Witness: It’s a rather large park, is it not?

Agent: Answer me this. Can you lie?

Witness: Ah, they don’t call you an Agent for nothing. How lovely.

Agent: Am I to take that as a no?

Witness: If it pleases you to, yes.

Agent: And this is where it gets tricky. Assuming for a second that you are telling the truth and you can’t lie, assuming the eye-witness records of both you and your weapon’s presence are accurate, and assuming the lie detector is 100% accurate—which it typically is—none of this makes sense. [Laughs.] I’m also going to assume you are not going to clear this up. Am I right to assume that?

Witness: Mm.

Agent: Can’t lie, didn’t see anything, and didn’t have a knife. Oh—I think I see the angle you’re seeing this from, or more accurately, not seeing.

Witness: Yes?

Agent: You’re blind.

Witness: True enough.

Agent: And that leaves us with the knife.

Witness: I think I can help you with that one.

Agent: Oh, really?

Witness: I did not have a knife. [A thud as she stands up, kicking her chair backwards.]

Agent: What?

Witness: [Voice suddenly much louder, as if she’s closer to the recording device.] It was a dagger.

[Connection lost. Transmission device error.]

[Audio distortion. Possible second voice overlapping with the Witness’s.][Beep]

If anyone solves this… I’ll be shocked. 

This will continue. Good luck.