Ranking the Trigonometry Functions

Ever since I first learned of the mysteries that are trig functions, I have been silently rating them in my head. Now, I have finally gotten around to ranking them in an official list. A few notes before we begin:

1. You do not need to know the math behind them to find this article enjoyable (I hope).

2. These are my opinions, and I would greatly appreciate it if no one threw rotten tomatoes at me for them.

6th Place: Secant

To be honest, secant just annoys me. Even the puns you can make for it aren’t that good (“Oh but what if Se can????” I mean, really? I feel like we can do better). The abbreviation, sec, also annoys me. Aesthetically, it’s trash. There are also way too many ways to pronounce it, and I can’t figure out for the life of me which one is correct. Therefore, last place.

5th Place: Cotangent

It’s just a copycat tangent. This bugs me. When abbreviated to cot, it reminds me of having a stuffy nose, or the camp from Parent Trap 2, and neither of those is especially fun to think about.

4th Place: Cosine

Like with cotangent, cosine is just sine with a co tacked on. Cos sounds like something slimy. However, it’s moderately better than secant or cotangent, so it gets 4th place.

3rd Place: Cosecant

I should dislike cosecant just as much as tangent or secant. However, I think the abbreviation csc looks cool. Also, whichever way you choose to pronounce it, cosecant sounds musical. It has a good rhythm to it. (I encourage you to say “cosecant” aloud several times to gain full appreciation of this feature.) Therefore, third place.

2nd Place: Tangent

Tangent is just chill. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who disagrees with me on this.

1st Place: Sine

The first reason sine gets first place is its potential for puns (that’s not a good sine, etc). The second reason is its simplicity. We don’t have any of that co___ nonsense here. I can’t say it’s perfect, because it does sound a little slimy, but it’s pretty close.