April Sports Report

Author’s Note: This sports section has information as of March 19th. To pursue more updated information about Bush athletics, you can go to BushBlazersAthletics.com. For more information on sports around the world, you can go to ESPN.com.

Hello Blazers! Welcome to the April sports report, covering all the events in the major sporting leagues this spring.

Cheese Rolling: The sport of cheese rolling is in a tumultuous time right now, after the retirement of Chris Anderson, the 23-time race winner. Of course, the final race in Gloucester is arriving soon, currently scheduled for May. Since Anderson’s retirement, we’ve seen parody over the last two years, with new winners in all eight races. Last year’s winners, Tom Kopke, Dylan Twiss, Abby Lampe, and Joshua Shepherd, will try to defend last year’s victories. At Cooper’s Hill, the annual site of the games, we see a 7-9 pound round of cheese rolled down a 25-degree hill. After the roll of the cheese, competitors must chase after their cheese. Whoever rolls down the hill the fastest and reaches the bottom first will win the race.

Dog Surfing: Held each year in San Diego, dog surfing is one of the rising sports in America. The competition is divided into four weight classes, as well as a human and dog tandem contest, a fashion round, and a fetch race. All eyes will be on which dog will win the top dog award. Cherie, the French Bulldog and two-time champion, will enter as the favorite, but the reigning top dog Cacau (Chocolate Labrador) will attempt to bring back the title. It will be interesting to see which dog will ride the waves to a trophy in San Diego.

Bed Racing: Back in England, the grand jewel of Bed Racing competition is coming in June with the Great Knaresborough Bed Race. A grueling test of strength and endurance, teams of six race a 2.4-mile course while rolling a bed. The sport has gained international acclaim for its climactic atmosphere, accentuated by the famed thirty-meter swim at the end of each course. Yes, the teams must swim with the bed. Of course, the dynasty of the GH Brooks team is the story to watch this June. Having won first place in the last four races, they have built a powerhouse that is nearly unstoppable. Their greatest competition will be the Ripon Runners, who have podiumed three of the last four years and got silver last year. Knaresborough is packed with anticipation for this year’s monumental race.

Toe Wrestling: Moving from a test of endurance to a test of strength, the world toe wrestling competition is just five months away. Lisa “Twinkletoes” Shenton has dominated the women's division, and she enters as the heavy favorite. Rebecca Beach is hoping to dethrone Shenton, but she’ll have an uphill battle, as she’s lost to Shenton the last five years.

 For the men, this year will mark the five year anniversary of the retirement of the famed Alan “Nasty” Nash. Nash won 20 of the sport’s first 26 championships and will be forever remembered as a legend. Nash has passed the torch to Ben “Toe-tal Destruction” Woodroffe, who will attempt to win his fourth straight title since Nash’s retirement.

Underwater Hockey: As the UWH season winds down, there are just three events before the nationals in Colorado. For the beloved Seattle Seahammers, they have solidified their spot in the nationals and will compete in the northwest regionals beforehand. The Seahammers, along with eight other teams, will hope to solidify a spot in the U.S. national team in the world championship. Team U.S.A. is coming off of a second-place finish to New Zealand in the world championship. New Zealand, France, and Australia have been the strongest teams through qualifiers.

Eating: Patrick Bertoletti, a native of Chicago, was at the top of the world: “I'm in the greatest country in the world, the greatest eating contest in the world and it's perfect, perfection.” In just ten minutes, he ate 58 full hot dogs and achieved national glory at the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. Everyone has heard of Joey Chestnut, the titan in the industry, who won 16 of 17 championships throughout the 2000s, but his retirement created a void. Bertoletti began to fill this void with his win in Coney Island last July 4th. Since then, he has won the American Blueberry Eating Championship (18.5 lbs in 8 minutes), the Chicken Nugget Championship (220 in 8 minutes), and the Pancake Championship (46 in 10 minutes). This season, the hot dog eating contest will have many top competitors. Among the women, Miki Sudo, Michelle Lesco, and Mayoi Ebihara are the main contenders for the trophy. Sudo won in 2024 with 51 hot dogs. Competing against Bertoletti in the men's division will be Geoff Esper, James Webb, Nick Wehry, and others. Webb specifically has been an up-and-coming eater who burst onto the scene after eating 224 chicken wings in 10 minutes.